What is WAR!!!?
-War is when two or more people have different view points on the world and decide that the best way to settle said view points is by bashing each others brains out, and then some. However, people found this immensely boring, because you can only have so much fun with your brains on the ground. In addition, unless you are very muscular, you aren't going to be all that good at war. Then some bloke decided to try to make a game out of war by using tiny rocks to represent people fighting, and also by using a board in place of a field. His game was so immensely popular that some muscular people killed him and then stole the game bringing it back to their kingdom. The game was so much more fun then bashing out each others brains that they soon conquered an empire just so they could spread it out across it. The game was enjoyed for many decades, before wandering barbarians, who never could figure out how to play it, came in and made a real mess of said empire, before finally figuring out how to play said game. They also enjoyed the game very much, and settled down and built castles so that they wouldn't lose that one pieces or one of the dice. They eventually realized that that body of water to their left wasn't just some endless thing, but that it had people on some land who played a different game from there's. This so enraged them, that they built a fleet of ships to go over there and beat the snot out of all of those idiots who claimed that their game was much better then theirs, which it wasn't. Somehow, they realized that the game the other people played wasn't half bad, and killed them all, so that they couldn't say “I told you so” over and over again every time they played it. However, the game was still lacking something that their game had, but it also had somethings that the original game lacked. So they tried to combine the two games. The result of the first match was nothing short of spectacular, as it accidentally leveled several cities, and still ended in a draw. After much more trial and error (and cities) they eventually made a war game that was so perfect, that they had to create a new word to describe how perfect it was: Superfect. The game brought peace to the world, mainly because they didn't want to lose their city to underground followings of the game who decided that THIS rule would work much better here. The game is said to be so fun, that it feels like you ARE bashing the brains out of your opponent.
is NOT WAR!!!
WAR!!! is the kind of game you play when you've smashed out your own brains already.
This is something I cooked up on a bored day. Enjoy: